Pat: people.against.twilight

No questions, but if you are one of the few who were entirely disappointed by the horror that was the Twilight Saga you must read!
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http://www.cracked.com/funny-36-twilight/
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Here's just a small portion of the hilarity that is this latest Twilight bash:
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Bella spends the rest of the book going crazy, imagining Edward's voice and partaking in ever more self-destructive activities. During this time she befriends Jacob Black, who turns out to be a werewolf but is still way better for her than Edward. She finally regains Edward's attention after she deliberately jumps off a cliff and almost dies. Edward, being a thirteen-year-old girl, thinks Bella has died and goes to Italy to commit suicide.

Read more: Twilight | Cracked.com http://www.cracked.com/funny-36-twilight/#ixzz1bUEa7G4Z

I love how Edward is described as being a thirteen-year-old girl. LOL! (Sparkle-sparkle.)

Hee-hee-heee. Ah, that makes me giggle like a little girl.

I read the books and I don't hate them all that strongly (though I dislike them a great deal). I always thought it was funny that Bella is so terrible as a functioning human. She never notices anything. She's always talking about how she "just noticed" she was holding her breath or she "just realized" her date could kill her in a split second.

I was not fond of this by any means, almost as much as I was entirely disappointed in being dragged to the movies when Blair Witch came out. Facepalm followed shortly after both.

Thanks, now I am going to have to go change my pants, because I laughed so hard! I really have no opinion on Twilight, I have not read the books. I have watched the movies, and found myself getting highly frustrated. Come on Bella, you choose a vampire over a werewolf? All I am saying is I would rather cuddle with something warm and fuzzy, than cold and sparkly! Here are some more quotes from Cracked, that I found amusing.

" Edward takes his shirt off to show her all of his glitter infection, and then they lie there chastely on the grass"

"And then Stephenie Meyer takes that trust, uses it to get your address and credit card numbers, and then breaks into your house and poisons your dog"

Hilarious!
I had to giggle quietly to myself when I read this the first time; I nearly ripped my sides.
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This is one of my FAVORITES!
"Three hundred pages after "Oh, you like me too? No way, I thought you hated me!", the plot arrives late to the party, drunk, in a beat-up '53 Chevy pick-up truck. It drives away about fifty pages later and crashes into a tree, gets sent to the hospital, and is rarely heard from again throughout the course of the series."
And of course...
"The 'Twilight' series contains four books about a dreamy vampire and the charmingly klutzy girl who loves him. It was written by Stephanie Meyer, oresumably on the back of a trapper keeper while she was still in high school."

Bella teams up with Edward's sister Alice, who turns out to be straight and taken but is still way better for her than Edward, to rescue her ex from his emoness. After a crazy mix up that finds Bella and Edward temporarily in an Anne Rice novel, Edward reaccepts her

Read more: Twilight | Cracked.com http://www.cracked.com/funny-36-twilight/#ixzz1bzotLVXV

I had managed to be blissfully ignorant of all things Twilight until the movie was on FX last night. I watched five minutes of it. The only thing I took away from the five minutes I watched was how everyone has coloring like they are coming down with a bad stomach flu. I understand Edward looking like death warmed over, but even Bella has this sickly yellow hue to her skin. Did they film the movie with a sephia lens cover? Too melodramatic for my taste.

I've never read the books, but they are popular fiction today, and I don't read much of that, or vampire novels in general. For as popular as the Twilight series seems to be, I sure do see them at yard sales a lot.

I have also never watched the movies; the Underworld series was bad enough (entertaining enough action movies, but they took too many liberties with both vampires and werewolves.), and I can't imagine what a blasphemy a series on the same subject matter, but marketed for prepubescent girls would entail. ;-)

I think it was all the hype. There was so much money spent in marketing to get everyone to fall in love with Twilight: McDonalds' toys, t-shirts, commercials, etc., that when the books and first movie were finally released, people dove into them knowing that they would love them. But then they actually read the series or watched the movies and came out of the experience scratching their heads. I for one was so excited that the day the books were released I purchased all four. When I got started on the first one I did the head scratch, but kept reading because I just knew it would get better; book after book I kept hoping that they would turn around, but no such luck. I came up for breath at the end of the fourth book about a week later and I was tempted to look Stephanie Meyer up and toilet-paper her house! I think some people just went into the experience really optimistic and were let down. I wish I could do the buy-back exchange for my Twilight collection, but I fear no one would take them

Thank you so much for this! I needed a laugh and I love poking fun at Twilight (being a long running Ann Rice fan myself). When my sister gave me the books and said my teenage niece loved them I did bring up the stalking fact-at that age very bizarre things seem romantic. As an adult it grossed me out.

Oh yes. I do love the fact that Edward sits in her room and watches her sleep every night, even before they start their little "relationship". It's something all our daughters need to learn; "If a man stalks you and constantly talks about killing you, then it must be love"... no wonder those movies are so polpular

I must admit that I did enjoy the books. They were quick reads. The movies, however, left much to be desired. I just sat in the theater shaking my head because I could not believe I had to sit through 2 hours of cheesiness. I should have never seen the movies!

Yeah, the movies suck. I did enjoy the books, though. I wouldn't classify them as high literature, and I laugh and nod whenever I read the criticisms, but I still find them entertaining.

Enertia, I haven't read the books either. I picked up one a time or two when I found it at Goodwill, but I still couldn't make myself buy it, even at a buck. The television and movie attention has turned me off, and I have no basis for my attitude toward them.

I watched the first movie before I read the first book and went "HUH"???? It was bad. Then I read the book, went back and watched the movie again and it was a little better. At this point I have read all the books and seen all the movies. I'm still not a big fan but my kids at school were devouring these things so I thought I had better see what all the hype was. Meyer has made her millions now. Maybe she will go away.

That's my take on the books, too, Toni, although without reading them I can't be totally objective. I demand more from my literature than the shock value that younger generations find so appealing. Give me Shelley's or Stoker's works instead if I want to read horror. I don't do horror for the most part, and vampires almost never.

Yes, you don't want to read Twilight if you are looking for horror. There are some elements of horror in it but it is first and foremost a love story.

Reading the books gives a better understanding of the characters, I think, but won't necessarily make you like the story.